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14th November: Focus on Friendship

He loved him as he loved his own soul. 1 Sa 20:17

God's greatest gifts are always the most vulnerable. In the realm of friendship above all others it is easy to miss God's best.

Our friendships should be many, and our relationships open, warm and outgoing, but there is a rare God-given friendship at a deeper level that can only exist between kindred spirits. This may be in the context of marriage, which is indeed a `commitment and not a contract' (`Monty' Barker), but such quality of friendship is open to all Christians, even though a physical component be precluded. Such was God's gift to David and Jonathan. In 2 Samuel 1:26, David described Jonathan's love as wonderful, passing (RSV), better even than (GNB), deeper than (LB), the love of women. Jonathan's friendship with David was --

At soul level

His soul was `knit to', joined to, one with the soul of David (1 Sa 18:1). They were one with each other in their love for their Lord and in devotion to his cause. Not surprisingly their friendship sprang up in the path of service as they found common cause against the Philistines (1 Sa 14:6ff, 17:32).

Unselfish

The underlying desire in many friendships is for self-gratification, but Jonathan loved David as much as he loved himself (1 Sa 18:1, 20:17). He was practical in his help and advice (1 Sa 18:4, 20:12-13, and as loyal to him in his absence as in his presence, even to his own detriment and danger (1 Sa 20:30-34). In no sense did he use David's friendship for himself.

Primarily concerned for David's faithfulness to God

Our only right in friendship is to help the other person to be the best for God. Jonathan sought out David in hiding and `strengthened his hand in God' (1 Sa 23:16). How would we have spent those precious moments with the person we loved?

Without self-prominence

Most of our day-dreaming has ourselves at the centre of the picture. Jonathan was content to slip into the background rather than hinder God's plan for David's life, and to play `second fiddle' to him, even though he was himself the rightful heir to the throne (1 Sa 23:17).

Open and unashamed

Granted that in the early days some of our developing friendships may be clandestine to avoid the baiting of our peers, yet beware of friendship that is furtive and secretive, when we have to be scheming and devious in our meeting each other lest we are observed by those whose respect we most cherish. Remember that `all are open and laid bare to the eyes of him with whom we have to do' (Heb 4:13). Never be in circumstances in which you would prefer not to be found when the Lord comes again.

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in mutual love
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above.

John Fawcett

Further reading: study the passages quoted

MC