My dear Wormwood. My letters to you have been exposed and are now circulating the entirety of humankind! How could you have let this happen? Your incompetence as a junior tempter has caused a detrimental impact on the works of the demons in the Lowerarchy serving Our Father Below.

My letters to you reveal millennia worth of our innermost secrets and tactics in tempting our patients to sin and eternal damnation. Details explaining the extreme, subtle manipulation of modern society are of particular concern since they are so relevant to contemporary readers. Disclosure of this information will allow our patients to become more aware of our presence in their lives, making it easier for them to escape our sinful influence and ever more vigilantly follow the ways of the Enemy Above.

The publication is not only clear enough to be understood by the dimmest of humankind, but has been shared amongst friends, and more pressingly, non-Christians, revealing to them the methods we have employed to shield them from the presence of the Enemy Above.

The publishing of my letters will set us back centuries of temptation and will cost us many souls to the Enemy Above. I fear your next stay in the House of Correction for Incompetent Tempters will be a long one.

Your affectionate uncle, Screwtape

Chee Yeen Fung is a second year medical student at University College London.