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Author Index - Lemuel

Lemuel's Limericks were a regular feature in Nucleus from 1992 - 1998

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Lemuel's Limericks (nucleus - spring 1998)

A gentleman living near Woking Who'd made a small fortune stock-broking Resolved to abstain (one day on the train) From any more cigarette smoking That evening departing the station (Absorbed in self-congratulation) He cut through a park when arterial plaque Obstructed a main bifurcation This bout was the first of a clump Which crippled his cardiac pump And...

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Lemuel's Limericks (nucleus - winter 1997)

Two lads in the sun (being well poached) Were once, by their father, approached After chatting awhile, it transpired (with a smile) That the subject of chores was then broached The first one responded with zest And promised to rise from his rest But being distracted, spoke not as he acted And ended up failing the...

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Lemuel's Limericks (nucleus - autumn 1997)

A medical student who crams While reading for final exams To accomplish the feat must remember to eat To avoid losing thousands of grams Maintaining one's state of nutrition Will stave off cerebral attrition And help to ensure one can ably endure All those stresses that threaten cognition In practice it's seldom one sees In those...

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Lemuel's Limericks (nucleus - summer 1997)

It started with harmless intent Ensuring that pennies weren't spent A mental defective (by process selective) Despatched with parental consent The precedent thereby was set And others were trapped in the net And more (by and by) were assisted to die' Whenever conditions were met The vision was gen'rally caught And quicker new methods were sought The trains...

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Lemuel's Limericks (nucleus - spring 1997)

A fellow (while trav'lling abroad) Became (rather frightfully) bored So finding some space in a peaceful quiet place He sought out a word from the Lord He sat there in earnest reflection While waiting on divine direction And emptied his mind in the hope that he'd find A heavenly hotline connection Some thoughts quickly...

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Lemuel's Limericks (nucleus - winter 1996)

A teenager saying a prayer To God (whom he hoped might be there) On finding he was, was delighted because He was saved from his angst and despair So feeling profoundly relieved Enamoured with what he'd believed He sought to persuade all the friends that he made That they needed what he'd received Some branded...

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Lemuel's Limericks (nucleus - autumn 1996)

A resident longing to sleep Neglected to answer his bleep And left it instead, near the foot of his bed Unaware of what harvest he'd reap The nurse undeterred by his snoozing (Assuming he'd spent the night boozing) Kept ringing his number, to rouse him from slumber But found herself steadily losing The patient's condition was...

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Lemuel's Limericks (nucleus - summer 1996)

A clever young Christian from Poole Accepted for medical school Was keen to excel, and endeavoured to sell The idea that he wasn't a fool Ensuring spare moments were sparse (Intending not merely to pass) He buried his head in the books that he read And finished up top of his class He...

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Lemuel's Limericks (nucleus - spring 1996)

The Hospital Board had it sussed The matter was briefly discussed And seeing the chance for a rapid advance They formed a self-governing trust They hired some business recruits Attired in pale grey suits Who, with time to dream, concocted a scheme To generate forecast 'green shoots' They ordered the closure of beds Replaced the departmental heads Established...

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Lemuel's Limericks (nucleus - winter 1995)

A Christian from Clacton-on-Sea Knew just where he wanted to be So humbly confessing the need for God's blessing He sought his will diligently He laid out a fleece on the ground (A technique that's biblically sound!) And as it transpired the sign he desired Was just what he (finally!) found Not wanting from Scripture to...

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