Starting at the moment of her husband's unexpected death, Janine Fair, mother, doctor and vicar's wife, explores the impact of this tragic event on herself, her young family and her faith. In a direct and punchy style, she examines her spiritual and psychological weaknesses, dissecting how God uses events to change her. She lays bare emotions of overwhelming grief, anger, bitterness, self-pity and despair in the context of the daily struggle to survive.

This book is not a theological treatise but is run through with a golden thread of faith. Janine shows how God used Psalms, Bible verses, songs and pictures to bring her to repentance for the times she had distanced herself from people and refused to accept the help God was offering. Using the metaphor of a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis of suffering, she finishes in a place of surprising joy and hope. While acknowledging that aspects of grief will often be present, she thanks God for the grace he has given her over four years.

I would recommend this book for any Christian who has not experienced the loss of someone close. It may prove helpful for those taking their own journey through grief.